Life After SATs


Life After SATs

This morning office doors were closed,

Coffee poured and papers shuffled.

Teachers ushered into rooms,

Whispered tones hushed and muffled.

For months we drilled the children

In SPaG and maths and reading

We went over complex sentences

Until our hair lines were receding

So we’re crunching all the numbers

And looking at the stats

To answer the big question:

Have they done well in their SATS?

Did Amar do enough,

To keep Ofsted from the door?

He was Level Two in KS1

So now he must be Four.

Did Andrew check his answers?

Did Kayleigh take her time?

Did Shreya understand

Why the poet wrote in rhyme?

Did they listen in our lessons?

Did they remember all our tricks?

To answer enough questions

To get a Level Six?

We’re proud of them, of course we are

They really did their best

But think of all the things they’ve missed

For this statutory test.

All the playdates that were cancelled

All the trips they didn’t take

All the drama they’ve missed out on

All the things they didn’t make

The children must be overjoyed

For what could matter more?

Than knowing enough answers

To get a Level Four.

If the results were not for Ofsted

And the political fat cats

We could teach them what they really need

For life after The SATs