On Wednesday morning we’ll wake up to the news that America have elected either Trump or Clinton as their president. Incidentally it’ll also be my thirtieth birthday. Here are some thoughts on that matter. Actually a lot of these thoughts aren’t about that matter they’re just thoughts.
1. I wonder how old I’ll be when Article 50 is triggered?
2. I should probably start wearing matching socks now.
3. A decade ago I had a much clearer career path ahead of me than I do now.
4. At what age will it be considered inappropriate to go to “Pets At Home” just to look at the rabbits?
5. Where IS Liz Truss?
6. I never imagined I’d be living back at home at the age of the 30. Even if it is only temporarily.
7. I think 15-year-old Zoe would be happy with how 30-year-old Zoe turned out. Even if I’m not living in New York with 8 cats. And I don’t have a job with a salary. Or even a proper home.
8. Although I’m quite relieved that 15-year-old Zoe’s plan to have 4 children by the age of 40 never really worked out.
9. I move to Amsterdam in 9 days. That’s pretty cool.
10. I should start learning dutch.
11. Maybe I’ll make a cake.
12. Buy. I meant buy a cake.
13. And by cake. I mean cheese.
14. People born in 1998 can legally drink. Not just a glass of wine with a meal but properly drink. 1998.
15. Whilst I’m quite looking forward to turning 30, I’m pretty sure I was only 22 last year.
16. I am married. Married. Writing that is far more surreal than writing about turning 30.
17. I’ll probably still be one of the youngest people at National Trust properties (who hasn’t been dragged there by their parents.)
18. How the hell are UKIP still a real thing?
19. It’s probably time to accept I’m never going to be a Blue Peter presenter.
20. And it’s unlikely I’ll ever be an Olympic athlete. Although I’m not ruling that one out entirely.
21. Where did my “30 before 30 list” go?
22. Is it acceptable to write a “40 before 40 list” now or is that just ridiculous? At least I’d have plenty of time to actually do everything on the list.
23. I wonder if my love of having a pint on my own is a legitimate pastime or something to worry about?
24. At what age will I start feeling like a grown-up?
25. I should get some sort of skincare routine. That’s something grown ups do.
26. Whilst I’m at it I should teach myself some new hairstyles just so I have a third option other than “up” or “down.”
27. Does anyone actually feel like a grown up? Where are all the grown ups?
28. Does this mean I have to own an iron now?
29. At what age will it be ridiculous for this blog still be called “The Girl On The Piccadilly Line?”
30. I fucking hope I don’t wake up to the announcement that Trump is President.