Life After SATs
This morning office doors were closed,
Coffee poured and papers shuffled.
Teachers ushered into rooms,
Whispered tones hushed and muffled.
For months we drilled the children
In SPaG and maths and reading
We went over complex sentences
Until our hair lines were receding
So we’re crunching all the numbers
And looking at the stats
To answer the big question:
Have they done well in their SATS?
Did Amar do enough,
To keep Ofsted from the door?
He was Level Two in KS1
So now he must be Four.
Did Andrew check his answers?
Did Kayleigh take her time?
Did Shreya understand
Why the poet wrote in rhyme?
Did they listen in our lessons?
Did they remember all our tricks?
To answer enough questions
To get a Level Six?
We’re proud of them, of course we are
They really did their best
But think of all the things they’ve missed
For this statutory test.
All the playdates that were cancelled
All the trips they didn’t take
All the drama they’ve missed out on
All the things they didn’t make
The children must be overjoyed
For what could matter more?
Than knowing enough answers
To get a Level Four.
If the results were not for Ofsted
And the political fat cats
We could teach them what they really need
For life after The SATs