Life After SATs
This morning office doors were closed,
Coffee poured and papers shuffled.
Teachers ushered into rooms,
Whispered tones hushed and muffled.
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For months we drilled the children
In SPaG and maths and reading
We went over complex sentences
Until our hair lines were receding
–
So we’re crunching all the numbers
And looking at the stats
To answer the big question:
Have they done well in their SATS?
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Did Amar do enough,
To keep Ofsted from the door?
He was Level Two in KS1
So now he must be Four.
–
Did Andrew check his answers?
Did Kayleigh take her time?
Did Shreya understand
Why the poet wrote in rhyme?
–
Did they listen in our lessons?
Did they remember all our tricks?
To answer enough questions
To get a Level Six?
–
We’re proud of them, of course we are
They really did their best
But think of all the things they’ve missed
For this statutory test.
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All the playdates that were cancelled
All the trips they didn’t take
All the drama they’ve missed out on
All the things they didn’t make
–
The children must be overjoyed
For what could matter more?
Than knowing enough answers
To get a Level Four.
–
If the results were not for Ofsted
And the political fat cats
We could teach them what they really need
For life after The SATs
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